First Sunday

Well Church was awesome today. I almost backed out when I called my sister and she said she and they kiddos were not going to go. (do to them being sick) But I decided I really wanted to and headed in to Boise. I was welcomed by just about every lady whom I had a study with last year and I have to say I probably needed that connection. I'm really excited to try to work stuff out so I can start going again. (to that women's Bible study)
The sermon was about Christs death, which I found a bit odd because it isn't Easter time, but It was SO good. I think in all honesty, that I avoid thinking about the cross too much. If I do that then I have to take a good look at how worthless I am and how much Christ suffered so that I didn't have to. It's a really potent thing to contimplate. Especially when a more full picture is created. With all this fresh in my mind I know that I can't just be a so so Christian. I owe God everything and so often I slack because I think something else is more important. I'm not doing a very good job of describing this. But needlees to say I was convicted and it was good. I'll definately be going to this church for awhile.

Church shopping.

The rubber is about to meet the road. For about a year I've wanted to find a new church home, but I was uncertain if my reasons were in fact reasons or simply my own selfish wishes. I prayed about it quite a bit and sence I've been back from camp I've practically been bombarded with reason after reason. So It's time to move on. I'll be starting with my sisters church this sunday, because I know I'll do well there. However I am hoping to find something a little closer to where I live. I know I'll have to let people know why I'm not longer attending the church I've been with for the last 3 to 4 years and what exactly I'm going to say is still a bit blury in my mind. I still hope to spend time with the friends I've made at the Rock, but I'm a bit aprehensive about how my decision will go over with others. Anyway please pray for a smooth transition. Also the leadership of the church.

New Pictures

Check out my new pictures. Just click on the pictures link!

Speaking up when you don't want to

I tell you what. God tells you to do something and you do it, because in my experience it pretty much isn't possible to tell God no, at least for very long. Right so the story.
Last night was the young adult group and I ended up not having to work so I went, mostly because it was at my house. It was fully my intention to not talk at all, partly because I feel like the same people always talk. (of which I tend to be one) and partly because I haven't really been very consistent with this group because of work and things.
Firstly it started out with a big discussion about group dynamics. People breaking off into smaller groups and how that effects the larger group as a whole and such. Basically some things have happened lately and people were upset with each other. Well someone brought it up and people were dancing around the issue addressing things that weren't really the problem, and I decided to cut to the chase. (whoever invented that saying anyway and what does it really mean?) which is really odd for me. You have to understand that at the first sign of conflict I generally run away or if I can't I shut down fast. But I was excited to see that I'm getting better about working things out.
Ok now the study was about prayer and whenever that topic comes up generally it includes the idea that with enough faith we can move mountains (i.e. miracles of all kinds) Now whenever this idea comes up I end up feeling guilty about my dad dying. Was it because I didn't have enough faith? Not the kind of question I really want to be asking a group of 20 or so of my peers. Unfortunately God decided I needed to ask it. You know that feeling you get when you are arguing with yourself until you realize that you wouldn't be having that argument if it was up to you because you REALLY don't want to do it. Anyway I of course ended up crying while I asked it. So I felt like and idiot. Partly because I absolutely hate crying in front of people and partly because some people in our group cry seriously every week and it gets to be a bit much for everyone, and I don't want to be like that at all. I turned out that only one person answered my question (which ended up being not so specific about my dad because I didn't really want to talk about my life just the idea that one could feel guilty about getting a "no" from God) but I'm hoping God did something with it because I just felt weird for the rest of the night.

4:00

Yep it's definately 4 in the morning and I have yet to go to bed. What am I doing up. Don't ask. But you know I find that with a little sleep deprivation I'm horribly willing to say whatever comes across my mind.. so if you ever want to know what I'm thinking or have thought about something and you have at least an hour or two that you don't ever what back from you life. Catch me when I havn't sleept and I'll spill my everything. (Thats the best advice I have for all of you) Oh yes and I generally don't bother to stop and wonder if what I say is really what you wanted to hear or if it even is all that nice. Generally these are the times I should confront people because I don't really care at this point what you think of me. Odd. I wonder why I'm like that. Hum. All ideas welcome.
Do please read the blog before this because it's really so much better than this one. OK?!

Come to Jesus

Looking through my blogs I realized that I never shared my favorite story from camp. We had a deaf staff member this year. Travis is his name. He is such a great guy. He and his girlfriend Kahlia were such a blessing to me. Travis was fun and crazy, Kahlia was an amazing example of patience, understanding and just the sweetest girl you could ask for. Anyway as you can imagine Camp was hard for Travis. Really only Kahlia was able to communicate with him very well, although some staff knew sign language and others learned large amounts so as to be able to talk to Travis. But times when Kahlia wasn't able to be with him due to her own job, it was difficult for Travis to not get board. Meetings and church were especially dull times for him. Well a few of the girls decided to do something special for the last chapel. We always have a special music time, so we decided to sign a song instead of sing. With much help from Kahlia we got ready to perform. It was absolutely the most touching moment in my life to watch and be a part of. Travis wasn't even looking at us for the first verse, he naturally just expected Kahlia to translate whatever was going on and she had a tough time getting him to just look at us, He kept asking her why she wasn't translating. But when he looked up and saw us he immediately started to cry. He hugged us after (strictly against camp policy) :) and Thanked us repeatedly throughout the week. But I wonder if it almost meant more to me to be able to see him so touched. It's a moment I won't ever forget, and love to remember. Oh yes and the song was by Chris Rice the "Untitled Hymn" or otherwise known as "Come to Jesus". It's a beautiful song. If you get a chance you should look it up.
Thanks for letting me share my special moments.
Oh yes and the song is now on my myspace page... which if you don't have the address to, well I can't help you because I don't actually know it. Sorry. But for those of you who do know it.. This should help complete the experience for you! :)