Quote for today. Oh and one for yesterday!

Sunday's -
"Treat people how you want them to become."
Because people will live up to your expectations of them.
provided by Cliff Williams pastor of The Rock

Monday's -
"The more we recognize the depth of our own sin, the more we recognize the love of the Saviour; the more we appreciate the love of the Saviour, the higher His standard appears; the higher His standard appears, the more we recognize in our selfishness, our innate selfcenteredness, the depth of our own sin."
provided by Carson pg 484

I have to admit that I don't really know who Carson is. This quote was in my women's Bible study notes and I loved it.

Joscelyne

SERIOUSLY!! I know you spent all kinds of time reading all of these blogs while sitting in front of the tv.. WHERE IS MY COMMENT.... Ahck... where is the love huh?
oh ps I almost called you girl after seriously, but that was just not in keeping with my completely cracker persona..... hum.
still waiting

The weekend

Saturdays are days to sleep in and I was up pretty late for me. However without fail, when I actually have the opportunity to sleep in I wake up early and wide awake. What's up with that?

Well my friends and I were hoping to go up to MaCall for the weekend winter festival. They have ice sculptures and fun local craft booths (yes I'm a nerd) and slay rides and all kinds of neat stuff. But it's snowing a lot and none of us have very snow worthy cars. So it looks like that is going to happen next weekend and more people will be able to make it up. Although the festival won't be going on next weekend the sculptures will still be there and the slay rides will still be going on so it should still be fun. I have found exciting things to do anyway.. well sort of exciting. Ice Skating today, Becks and I are going. I'm missing out on Hot springing with the gang. I'm not sure how I feel about that, however Joy asked if she could spend the night tonight after College group so it would follow that I had better attend College group. Especially since she has THE worst sense of direction and hot springs trips generally don't get back till like 2 in the morning. Ah well. I'm sure I'll have fun. (I'm easily amused so...) And I know there will be other opportunities to go hot springing, where Joy will be in South America in another week or so.

connecting the dots

Ok so I have been reading Jeremiah for some time now. I've never really read a whole lot of the old testament before. I just realized last night that Jeremiah was the prophet before Israel was taken captive by Babylon. Which is (as I remembered because I was watching veggie tales yesterday) where the stories about Daniel and the lions den and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego all take place. It's exciting for me to piece some of this together.
Other than that I have been reading in Psalms. There are just so many good ones. I sometimes wish I could write like David.

Life around the house has been pretty bland. We've rediscovered Nickel Creek and have been listening to them for a few days strait.. Dancing about the living room for exercise with the boys to some songs, singing at the top of my lungs to others. Lots of fun! :) I'll have to write sometime about music and it's impact on life for me. But this is good for now and I'm off to go sing really loud! :)

New job maybe

I have a kind of interview test with Citi cards today. I've been working on not being nervous all day. Eek. Well hopefully they want to work with my schedule. Either way, I keep reminding myself that God is in control and He is faithful! Sometime I just have to talk a little louder than other times. Well anyone reads this before I write again, please shoot up a prayer!

ok well it was just a bunch of tests. nothing to be scared about as it turned out. My real interview is on monday at 8 in the morning. Hum Coffee needed!!

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

As I was browsing through my hymnal this morning before church I came across a familiar one. I began to sing it, and began to realize how awesome the words are and how much they applied to my life at this moment.. so here it is.
Great is thy Faithfulness by Thomas O. Chisholm
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my father, There is no shadow of turning with Thee; Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not; As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest, Sun moon and stars in their courses above, Join with all nature in manifold witness To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth, Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide; Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see; All I have needed Thy hand hath provided- Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!

I don't even know

As I was sitting at College group tonight I came to realize some things about me and life, and some questions surfaced... I'm going to cover a couple of topics here so read on or give up.. :)
I got to thinking about how lately I have been getting more and more frustrated with this other church I attend. When I first started attending I was more of the mind that while I perhaps didn't agree with everything being said, there was usually something of worth to the sermon. Just this last time I realized that I no longer find anything good and I only see the bad. This hit me but I didn't go any further than to realize that something had changed. Tonight I realized that while I had started out looking and God and being disappointed and sometimes legitimately angry and what was being said. I had turned my focus off God and onto what was bothering me. In short I haven't been truly following God. Time to change that!
Next is the topic of small groups. It seems that every time I find one I really like and feel like I can truly open up and be vulnerable in, other people join and it no longer feels safe. I don't know what to do here. I know that I desperately need people and a group to encourage and be real with, but in both groups there are people that I simply don't trust to.. I don't even know. Care? or maybe take what I offer as the real me and love that person. This may be a surprise to people reading these who don't know me well, but I am a big joker. I always have some side witticism to inject into conversation, and this tendency get worse if the situation is tense or someone is trying to be too personal with me. So this is the person everyone thinks is me, and yet I feel like although humor is great, Me is actually a deep thinker who desperately wants someone to see that and like that. I mean, I KNOW that people think I'm funny and that they enjoy that me that I show them. But will they like the me that is emotional but doesn't know how to express it? And who do I trust with that. Should I be open with a group of people when some of the number have been known to disregard my feelings more than once. I don't know, and I don't know any more who to be honest with. I just want answers and I so often find myself with nothing but more questions.
I have other questions and other thoughts but enough is enough and I'm done for tonight. I'm starting to just feel overwhelmed.

A quiet church...Dead or Deep?

First off I'd like to just explain why I still attend a church that so annoys me. I go because I wanted to make some friends and I have. So I go to continue hanging out with them. However it has happened that as I attend (you may have noticed) I'm begining to learn what I believe about God and his word. Also due to the fact that I'm irritated and can't really write about it while I'm suposed to be taking notes or whatever, I pray a lot. I also have to pray that God will show me what is good and what isn't. Obviously I don't know everythings, and it's doubtful that they are wrong about everything. So that said....I'm going to rant again.

"A quiet church is a dead church" I'm not kidding, I hear this every time I go to this church. This really does make me so angry for several reasons. The first being, isn't that just a bit general? I mean I don't go around saying that Every pentacostal church is just noise. That would be a lie. Next I'd like to point out that as long as we are making generalizations, I could say that still waters run deep, and that babbling brooks are shallow. But in either case the main point that I'd like to ask is..HOW IS THIS BUILDING UP THE BODY OF CHRIST AND BRINGING CHRISTIANS TOGETHER??? Because I don't see how insulting a third of the christian population is going to bring people together. I love my pastor because he prays for all the churches in the valley every sunday, that they would be effective in teaching the word of God. How awesome is it that he just want's God's will and not a bigger church. (I mean he'd love to have more people comming and getting saved, but that isn't what I'm saying)
Personally I have to say that for me and my life I have no problem jumping up and down and singing loud and acting excited. However for me that is all fun and games. When it gets down to having a conversation with someone or sharing my heart or being real (with God or others) I just want to be still. But that is me, I think it's different for different people.
ok enough for one day. Oh and please feel free to tell me at any time that my theology is completely wack, just as long as you tell my what verses of the Bible you're basing it on. :)
Have a great weekend, sing a praise song, and look up a hymn if you don't know any!

Children

Yesterday was a bit of an overload. I was really full up on kids. Lucky for me my friend Becky came over and we walked the boys to the library. This was a two fold blessings, as we all got out and I got to have adult contact. (yea for stimulating conversation). Then in the evening I realized that Harrison had taken my wallet and put it who knows where. Joy! Well needless to say I was a bit stressed and not all that happy. The good news is that I'm less grumpy today, and after some extensive searching of the house I did just find my wallet. YEA.
So this is your break as a reader from the highly intense theological rantings... that may continue.. who knows??

WARNING : EMOTIONAL CONFUSION ALERT

I was sitting through college group tonight totally not focusing on what we were talking about, but on life of late. I had such a hard time feeling like I wasn't failing at life after I chose to drop out of college. I kept asking my self what I was thinking. I'm sure that unless I suddenly developed a passion for some career I won't be going back to study. Therefore according to society in general that makes me a failure. I'll live life working for McDonalds or something. I'm living with my sister and watching her two boys right now. I kept feeling like I wasn't really going anywhere in life and I asked myself what the heck I was doing just about every day. Finally after a lot of talking to God and doing some soul searching I came to have peace that this is just where I am supposed to be right now. Well that peace only lasted like a month.
We talk a lot as christians about having passion for things, God, his work, our relationships, etc. I have to say that until reel recently I haven't felt any kind of joy or passion since I was a kid. It was so great to feel joy again, like I was moving back to being a me that I hadn't been for a long time. This passion thing though is killing me.
I go to church or bible study or college group and I just get so worked up about things. Things like "What is this pastor saying?! Doesn't he realize that this idea that if we are good enough christians that God will bless us with a smooth prosperous life is delusional? What will these people think when they realize that trials are a blessing?" Or this common argument among christians about hymns verses worship music. Hymns are not moldy and in fact have some super theology and great messages. Worship songs are also great. Why do we have to say one is better than the other. We are tearing ourselves apart. Christians are confused and it seems that after a lifetime without passion I am being hit with overwhelming amounts of it every time I do something religious in nature (i.e. church, bible study, college group).
The problem comes in that I don't know what to do with all this emotion. I can't hold on to it and do nothing. I also don't really have anything to pour it into (except a journal and sometimes blogs.. oh lucky you reader! :O) So I get very frustrated. What is it God expects of me? What is it that he is wanting me to do? I simply don't know and in truth it's wearying to even think about.

Ice Skating

My friend Amie and I were supposed to go ice skating yesterday, but she had to work, and the rink isn't open to the public in the evenings. This just got me to thinking about when I was a kid in small town Havre MT and there was a tiny little pond that was open, well I don't really remember if it even had times when you couldn't be on it. My sister had to reteach me how to ice skate every year. It was always bitter cold and so much fun. I hope that we get a cold spell here just long enough to freeze a lake so I can go ice skating again. The bummer thing about rinks nowadays is that by the time it's free skate, everyone and their dog is on the ice. I just want lots of space for me to fall down and not be embarrassed! :)

"Friends"

It really is so strange to come back from a long break during college. Some people you thought you couldn't wait to see, you find it awkard to reconnect with. Some people you find you didn't miss at all. Christmas is such a long break that in order to not go completely nuts alone, I found some other people to be friends with, people I enjoy very much. But now that everyone is back, I find it hard to decide whom I should be friends with.
"Well Abby seriously, why can't you just be friends with them all?"
This is a good question. I can really find room for just so many friends in my life at one point. You can't be intimate with everyone, otherwise they just become acquaintances. So the delema then is who gets to be in which group.
Strange, always before now I simply wanted friends, now I don't know what to do I have so many. I think that God loves to bless us with lessons. :)

God Answers Prayer

Last night was youth group, or the equivalent anyway. The topic.. persistence in prayer. Luke 18:1-8. I have to say the idea of being persistent in prayer is not a new one. I tend to be somewhat sporadic at best, and generally downright lazy about praying. However that is not the point of this blog. Several questions surfaced in my mind during the sermon that never got answered. First off, while it is great for us to be persistent in prayer, (the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective) and that God delights in giving us the desires of out hearts (as long as it's in his will), does he..(and here is the real question) does he choose to not bless us if we don't pray? Or more to the point of being persistent, If we are praying for something and don't see results and give up (I am not advocating this by any means) Is God going to say..

oh well bummer for you! I was going to answer your prayer on Tuesday, but you stopped praying for it on Monday so tough luck for you now.

Because that just seems stupid. Then again maybe I'm the stupid one.
The second question I had in regards to praying is this. I see a lot of churches saying that God always answers prayer! I have to agree. But they seem to figure that Gods responses are either "yes" or "later". And that's all I hear as options for God's answer. Does it occur to these people that God can also say no? I only ask because I don't think I've ever heard one sermon on prayer that points out that sometimes we don't get what we want end of story.

Ok so that last question is really more of a soap box. And I would once again like to point out that I'm fully behind praying persistently.. You should do it!! And so should I. Yes and have a great day :) Don't forget to shoot up a prayer! :)

Advocating small groups

Friday was my girls Bible study night. It started out pretty typical but just as we thought we would finish up with prayer, one of the girls asked that we pray for boldness in reaching out to people and making friends. This started us all talking about how lately we had been feeling like either we had no friends, or/and we shouldn't bother to try to reach out and make new ones. I've even gotten to the point where I spend so much time alone that when I do want to hang out with people I just assume they don't want to hang out with me. (It's all in my mind I know). We continued talking, and isolation became the topic. The devil loves to get us completely alone. It's so much easier to mess with us then. See if I'm alone and I get to thinking that maybe I'm not all that. Then I have conversations with myself that are something like
"I have worth!?" (me)
"PFFFT! Ya whatever. You keep thinking that" (the devil)

When I'm alone there is no one to back me up. (Of course God but I'm talking people) It's so important to be in small groups for this very reason. Connect and build up support. Share your struggles and joys and encourage one another in the Lord. :)
Hum I feel vaguely like a preacher. Well maybe that's what comes from having a Dad for one.