Trust

I've found that my biggest hurtle in any relationship is trusting the other person. I didn't realize the extent that this had affected me until I began to draw closer to God. I then found myself contently blockaded by my own unwillingness to trust God. God, the one who created me, the only one who truly knows me, and the only one who can see past present and future so as to direct my life in the best possible way, and I didn't trust that he was doing the right things for my life. This was a huge problem. Seeing as I wasn't making any kind of progress trying to force myself to trust him more, I asked Him to teach me trust. I spent all summer learning this lesson. With no job and a serious control issue, I gradually learned to be at peace knowing that God was taking care of me. I found comfort in an old song by Petra, "No doubt". My favorite line became "This test of your faith will last, as long as it takes to pass, till you have no more doubt you'll endure, that your faith will emerge true and pure". I recently realized that this test was not as difficult as it could have been, God did provide for all of my needs while I had no job, and He didn't have to. My lesson could have been to trust in spite of not being provided for, or having all of my things burn in a fire, and all I can be is grateful that God prepared me to want to learn trust, and that he allowed my heart to be receptive to the lesson. I pray now that my heart will be always ready to learn, and that it never gets so hard that God has to do really drastic things to get my attention. By the way I just got a job at Starbucks, something I've always wanted. I can't wait to see what God will do next.