Perspective

My pastor once said that by choosing to not make a decision, we are in fact making one. That’s a bit vague, let me explain. If I know that a situation is coming up in which I know I'll be put in a place to choose God's way or man's way, and I say to myself that I won't make a decision about it now but that Ill choose when the time comes, I have in fact effectively chosen to go my own way. It's just like not preparing for a battle. I'm not all that sure that I just made any sense.
Anyway, as with all good points I stored this and didn't really do anything about it. Yesterday I was sitting in church trying to pay attention to the pastor when it hit me that I was completely disregarding this good advice. I have a potential situation in the future that I need to decide about and I was just telling myself that I would decide later. However I realized that the more I thought about the decision the less I really wanted to do God's will in the matter, "deciding later" was my excuse for not dealing with it now.
Now don't think that I wasn't listening to yesterday's sermons through all of this.. (I've found that when God makes a point in my life he really likes to cover all the bases for argument as soon as possible) So I finally decided that doing God's will was more important to me than any earthly pleasure could afford, but I still was thinking that I didn't have the will-power to succeed. So of course yesterday's sermon was about changing our perspective.
1. Romans 6 talks about how we are dead to sin.
2. In James I think, it talks about how Jesus will provide a way of escape whenever we are tempted.
3. Somewhere else it says that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.
4. Last on my new perspective list is that we are more than conquers.
Now I’m still a bit confused as to how it all works out that we are now dead to sin and yet we are working out our salvation. But I'll work on that. :)

Passions and struggles

Ok so it generally happens that I keep up with whatever personal online journal for about 2 or 3 months and then I just quit for long periods of time. I'm like this with real journals too. You know sometimes there just isn't anything to write about. But I'm back and here it is for now...

So, I started up working at Chicago Connection, I don't know if I already talked about that. Anyway I worked there some time ago and was really encouraged by my manager there. We would often talk about the Bible or what God had been doing in our lives. At that point in my life I was pretty much doing my own thing, and attending church simply because I've always done it. But as I was often touched by Jake's passion for God and God's work I began to get more excited about what God might be doing in my life. Just spending time with Jake made me realize that church had come to mean nothing to me and that I wasn't allowing God any room in my life. I began to make more room for him. Well I stopped working at the connection and was really struggling at connection with the college age kids at my church. So when Jake called me over Thanksgiving and invited me to his church I decided to give it a shot and see if I could make some friends there. I have to admit it was and still is pretty awkward at times for me, I'm not very charismatic, but I love Wed nights there. The hard hitting sermons really led me to dig deep in my life and begin to change some patters in my life that had been there for a long time.
God really blessed me with some great friends as well. (Jen called me this morning to give me about 100 random facts about my birthday day and year.)
Anyway back to my job at the connection now. I started up at a new Chicago Connection full of ideas about how I was going to be salt and light there, just like Jake was. And I think I fail a lot. It's really up and down for me. And although I still work with Jake we don't have time to discuss much of anything, the store is so busy. I need more love for coworkers for sure!
I've continued to attend Wed night at Capital, and still very much enjoy the hard hitting sermons, although I wonder at times whether I'm any good at application. I hope it's normal to fail a lot, because I seem to. Hopefully I improve with each try. More patience and more love are definitely things I need.
I've noticed also, that as I draw closer to God, He is blessing me with passion for things. Let me tell you, after about 5 years of not caring about much of anything, it's great to finally realize that there are topics that can excite passion in me. I am also thinking about the future and trying to decide where to go. God is still working on letting me know, I definitely need to develop more trust with that, I often find myself demanding to know what is going on.
Most days I know I'd like to get married and have my own family, and thoughts of weddings have occurred lately due to the fact that I'm a bride's maid in my friend Laura's wedding. But I have to admit that as I walked through the dress store after having my dress altered, I was very happy to be single and not having to worry about wedding details, especially picking out a wedding dress and having to pay for it. It's always nice to feel content with life.
So that’s whets going on with me, feel free to write to me about what is going on in your lives. Oh ya and today is my 22 birthday. Good fun.